There Arose Such a Clatter

Axel vs Zack Reno vs Cheetah Boy vs Kal the Wrestler, Match 848: The Holiday Day Match (UCW)

This match is plum crazy, but it's skillfully played by four popular superstars, including two former and current UCW champions. I can't keep up with UCW's classification of its titles, but there's more than just one. Cheetah Boy is the Holiday Champion, a newly minted distinction. I mistook last week's championship for the All-Star Championship, which Cheetah Boy and Axel vied for. I misread the game rules. The question is whether CB can defend his belt against three highly qualified challengers. A long candy cane decks each of the ring's four corners, and each man's goal is to protect his cane and capture the other canes. If he loses his cane, he has 10 seconds to retrieve it, or he's counted out. 

Seemingly choreographed angles are intertwined with unscripted angles, keeping fighters and fans on their toes. Axel is favored to win, so he's a prime target for the other three. If you are familiar with the UCW ethos, you can guess the places a candy cane can be shoved. These men will stop at nothing to claim victory, and you can assume some of these guys will be walking funny at the contest's end. One thing we all can agree on is that the UCW ring stands for kinky sexy attacks, so by all means defend your entrances and exits - or just spread your arms and legs and welcome the experience.

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