Ring Bitch!

Brendan Byers vs Johnny Greco, Ring Bitch! (WrestleFrat)

I can't not love this match. I love bruisers like Byers. I could take a nap on that belly. And Greco is every Hercules movie I've ever bought a ticket for rolled into one bristly demigod. In that last shot, somebody would have to restrain me from biting those glutes. I mean restrain me with thick ropes and heavy cuffs and maybe cement. I want to lounge all day on my sofa snuggling with these two, watching Spartacus.

The plot is simple. There is no plot. It's Byers slaughtering Greco with no breaks for beer and pizza. At tops, it takes five minutes (out of a total of twenty) to figure out there is no way that Greco can turn this situation around. Usually, I would want Johnny to fight back. Right now, I want either him or Brendan to put me in a five-minute headlock. I want Brendan to belly flop on Johnny's face. I want Johnny for a punching bag.

As it is, the match provides a number of sensuous moments. My favorites are the ones above. The video contradicts almost everything I used to feel about one-sided wrestling matches. I'm adaptable, but my old judgments have been, on the whole, right. Byers vs Greco is a thing unto itself.

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