Saturday, October 5, 2013

Berserker








UCW-Wrestling continues to pitch its game to new levels with its latest release [#313]. Bodyslam and Axel have tasked Billy Gunn, himself a new addition to the UCW roster, with breaking in longhaired rookie Erik the Viking. It's an assignment Billy takes on exuberantly, ready to vent his rage and good-ole-boy sadism on anything with a pulse and skintight spandex. 

Imagine his surprise, then, when he discovers that Erik matches him berserker for berserker *. The 35-minute clash features the company's familiar blend of gut-punching, wedgy-yanking, nostril-stretching, and ball-smashing, along with bondage and a surprise finish that may rock you back on your ass.

In a video interview, currently playing on the UCW site, company co-owner Axel asks the Viking about his previous fighting experience. Erik says that most of his experience has been in martial arts with little experience with wrestling mat work. Against Billy, though, he shows no reticence in getting down with leg holds and chokes. Any challenges in translation from standing assaults to horizontal grappling appear minimal for the recruit. Nor does Billy's thickset build deter the wasp-waisted blond from wreaking all kinds of havoc upon it.

"You got a purty mouth and I'm fixin to shove my big old cock up in it," says Billy Gunn, by way of introductions, demonstrating the eloquence and Southern charm he first showed in his fight against Michael Hannigan. For all his speed and firmly packed muscle, Erik's probably never faced an adversary like Gunn. He looks dumbfounded by Billy's eagerness to slap his hand to Erik's taut ass and his shameless full frontal assault on the bulge at the Viking's crotch. But then who can blame Silly Billy for his eagerness to get his hands all over the exciting new guy's smooth hard muscle?

When Erik complains about Gunn's shocking lack of professional propriety, Billy calls him a "Hanson reject" and smacks him down to the mat. Erik suffers through six full minutes of verbal and bodily abuse before he surprises everybody by clamping a chinlock on the mouthy redneck and dry-humping the small of the man's back. Things get really interesting from this point on--the unexpectedly even (and crudely comic) contest heats up fast with constant threats of sexual violence, leading to a rope-bondage scenario that's as brutal as it is hot.

Erik is more beefcake than we're used to seeing at UCW, but clearly the man's ready to fit in with the company's low-brow aesthetic, going as dirty and cocky as his opponent, a high-spirited potty mouth totally lacking in scruples or, it would appear, a blush response. Like Billy, Erik represents a new breed of UCW fighter, cut from a different cloth from earlier fighters like Axel, Joker, and Eli, yet just as enthusiastic about taking huge hairy-balled risks and revving up the company's well-known penchant for crazy.


* berserker, n. a Viking or Norseman noted for his crazed violence in the heat of battle, thought to be possessed by a demon (berserk)

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