Fun and Games

Lately I've been jonesing for more of Dylon Roberts, a new wrestler at BG East who has caught my eye. Lucky for me, my DVD copy of Crotch Crushers 2 came in the mail this past week. Dylon, 5'9", 165#, may look like the boy your mamma wishes you would marry, but he's a twisted fuck in boy-next-door's clothing. I am all about the sublimated sado-eroticism of regular wrestling, I talk about it most of the time in these pages, but there are times--like now, for instance--when I say, "Fuck the nice subtleties and let 'er rip!" Dylon and cute little Skip Vance, 5'6", 135#, do not skimp or play coy. This is erotic gymnastics thinly disguised as athletic competition--taking nothing away from either man's abilities as a grappler, mind you. Still the sexuality is far from subtle. Face it, with a title like "Crotch Crushers," you know you're not getting just good clean fun.

Dylon knows his way around a fetish. Short of Kid Vicious or Jarret Cole, I can think offhand of no one who is as bold and exuberant in exploring the interstices of pain, humiliation, and arousal as he. His round butt packed into gold squarecut trunks, he goes after Skip like a heat-seeking missile chasing a three-peckered hare. This is not triple-X porn, mind you. There's not even a glimpse of nudity. All the same, your imagination doesn't need to work hard at connecting the dots. Roberts is nailing this kid. That's all there is to it. It all starts out with winks and friendly teasing, but prettily dimpled Dylon is, through and through, an aggressive sexual dominator, though he remains chipper as a gameshow host, at one point praising Skip, "You scream so nicely." Mister Rogers, dungeon master.

Dylon Roberts pulls together qualities of heel and babyface in a deceptively wholesome-looking package. The effect is jarring, like nothing I am used to. The man enjoys himself, all right. And he looks like nothing but fun on the gazebo mats. When Skip oh-so-briefly turns the tables on the guy, Dylon emits heartfelt and satisfying moans, as sincere and panicked as I would ever hope to hear, yet in a soothing baritone, rather like a guy explaining how to twist balloons into giraffes on a YouTube video. Then gamely he springs back for the kill. He playfully torments Skip's eager cock even while planting wet, smothering kisses on his lips. It would be impossible to resist going along for the ride with this guy, bumpy and sticky as the ride almost certainly is, but who would even want to resist?