Xander Caden vs Nero Angelo, Match 517 (UCW)

Fans who like mostly (almost entirely) one-sided fights will probably love UCW's Match 517. Here in his third (I think) UCW video, Xander, still getting the initiatory hazing treatment, is at a serious disadvantage against the heavier, meaner, and touchier Nero, who persists in using wrestling as an excuse to cop a feel. Multiple feels. Nearly wall-to-wall feels. Feels up the wazoo.

This is not to say that the contest has no surprises and twists, it does--and a very nice one too, but the gist of it is a whole lot of suffering on Xander's part. Since the new kid suffers like a pro, I can't complain too much. His hope spots don't make an appearance till the midpoint of this 24-minute extermination, and, even then, don't blink or you may miss them. Mostly he suffers, with Nero's assaults resembling nothing so much as an exercise in bullying and colorectal exam.

For a while now, I have worried that Nero's frotteur gimmick may be approaching its sell-by date. It was cute at first, risqué, more than that: bold. I like frot, too. My interest in wrestling is almost entirely built on frot, and even I am beginning to think enough is enough--and the gimmick has, for several matches now, been veering towards creepy. Even creepy has its place, I guess, but, really, the Benny-Hill-meets-The-Joker leering has got to stop.

Most of Nero's victims have been unwilling dupes, ostensibly straight, if not outright asexual, dumbfounded by the brute's indelicate advances, but Xander is singlehandedly giving sissies a good name in wrestling, with immense style and (dare I say) courage. It's interesting to watch how he reacts to Angelo's uninvited fiddling about. And I have to wonder what Nero thinks of this match's final minutes--is this perhaps what he's always wanted?


  1. Interesting take on Nero. I don't like the idea of the gay creeper - Brendan Cage's character turned me off Thunders for awhile (I blamed them, not him). However, I might be in a different place than you. Now I have much less exposure to Nero's character. I think I only have two of his UCW matches (Kenny + Chase), plus the Chase/Cole title match where he reffed. I thought he was great in those. I even gave him a Cavey award for them.

    If I'd seen more, maybe I'd feel differently, but Nero's character hasn't fazed me for a few reasons. I don't think of any of these guys as unwilling or dupes. Chase and Kenny definitely seemed all in for the premise. It's part of the UCW way. It sure feels like most matches feature someone's hand down his opponent's trunks. And I'm struggling to decide if Nero's particular enjoyment of wrestling is worse than the many sadist characters UCW features. Is Nero's joy really worse than say a Quinn Harper character who gets joy from physically assaulting a guy, including his manhood? Is me liking morally questionable characters like Nero or Quinn something I should worry about?

    As an aside, it's Nick Diesel's seeming turn from king of bondage into a 'no homo' prude (based on what I've inferred from your posts) that I'd like to see stop.

    Anyway, thanks for the thought-provoking post. I don't know if it helped me decide to buy the match or not (maybe based on how I now think it ends), but you got my brain working. :)


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