Goodnight Room, Goodnight Blue Tarp, Goodnight Cinderblock Walls

Quinn Harper vs Angel Estrada vs Nero Angelo, Match 564 - Sex Toy Match (UCW)

UCW is heading off to its new digs, and we can expect UCW ring matches in the near future. What these pro-style matches will be like challenges the imagination, but they've been Bodyslam's dream for years. I like change - 95% of the time change has been a good thing for me, even when I've made those changes hastily and carelessly - but this small garage space, a shrine to wrestling for the past six years, holds a special place in my heart and deserves a proper sendoff. It's been an icon of wrestling kink and will remain so in my memory - and future fantasies. (This is not the first time I've waxed nostalgic for the UCW of yore. Check an earlier encomium here, written, I think, when the company was in its Baltimore interim between Milwaukee and Philly.)

The sendoff takes the revered form of (ahem) a sex toy match featuring Quinn Harper, Angel Estrada, and Nero Angelo in a nasty nasty nasty three-way that at times resembles a community theater production of Salò or the 120 Days of Sodom. Five sex toys (eight, counting Quinn, Angel, and Nero) are weaponized and otherwise misemployed in a 31-minute gangbang that showcases the considerable talents (and dementia) of all three men. The sheer expenditure of energy and sweat makes this match an invigorating mix of silly and hot. I admire the balls on these dudes (and I mean that figuratively and anatomically) for throwing themselves uninhibitedly into this splooge-bait of a farewell to the cinderblock fight space. You won't see anything like this at Thunder's Arena or No Rules Wrestling  ... or anywhere else on Earth - and it makes all of Joker's wild antics look like Masterpiece Theatre  by comparison.

Visit UCW here.


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