Daddy Gets What Daddy Wants

Nick Flex vs Corey "Badger Boy" Turner, Catalog 6 - Muscle Boys Get Fired Up! (MuscleBoy Wrestling)

Considering my age and my real-world profession, I should be more reserved. But when the new MuscleBoy catalog came out this weekend, my heart was racing. The big news is that Nick Flex has three (you heard right) new matches. So far I've seen only this one, #9 in the catalog, but it's revving me up bigtime. First, here's Flex in terrific form and in the coolest trunks ever. Hairy, bulgy machismo doesn't get steamier than this. Second, his opponent goes by the best wrestling moniker ever, "Badger Boy," a name to match the rookie's unrelenting recklessness. This guy is about to get picked clean to the bone, and everybody knows it but him. Not usually a fan of squash jobs, I am giddy over this one, presented as daddy discipline, which is tough love on protein shakes. Third, the action is frenetic, plucky, and everything I've come to expect of MuscleBoy with a high dose of feral roughboy energy, besides.

Had this match been described to me, I would have pleaded with MuscleBoy not to do it. But, as it turns out, one of the features I most appreciate about this still-fledgling company is that it takes wrestling angles and cliches I only think I despise - the David and Goliath squash match, for instance - and somehow finesses them to my liking. It's not really that MBW tailors a match for me personally. It's more that the promoter and wrestlers find a sexy slant to each angle and work it with a firm sense of what they want to accomplish through it. So far there's nothing or, at any rate, extremely little about the company's product I find hackneyed, flat, unimaginative, or routine - or unsexy or, pretty much the same thing, incompatible with wrestling as competitive sport and pastime.

Nick Flex embodies the muscle daddy I wish I was. With his physique and ability I'd probably be inclined to tackle other muscle daddies in a bid to submit them or be submitted. But then I'd miss out on Badger Boy, more specifically toying with the punk as if he were a ball of yarn I could swat at and unravel the whole day through without getting bored or charged with assault. This match marks a high point for sexy fight-fun, even for an avid fantasist like me.

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