Another Crack at the UCW Championship

Tyson the Hammer vs Zack Reno, Match 726 (UCW)

 I think this is now Zack and Tyson's fourth encounter. "That dirty  shit ain't gonna work tonight," Zack  the champ (for the time being) confidently proclaims, his back to his challenger, no less. Either Zack wants to be attacked from behind (because that IS what happens) or he's suckering the Hammer in for some long-haul whoop-ass later in the contest.

Seconds later, Zack is flat on his back in a corner, moaning from his gut like he's giving birth, as Tyson straddles him and pummels said gut and cranks his nipples. I shouldn't have to remind you this is UCW, where punches are pulled only slightly, if at all. (Years ago, Bodyslam told me he advises his wrestlers to punch each other with the same force they would use when punching the wall. I think if you check the walls in UCW videos of late, you'd have to admit that might not be the best advice.)

"Give me back the belt," Tyson demands, delivering more punches. He stands, and holding on to the top ropes, he braces his bare foot against Zack's throat and leans in, adding weight and pressure to the adam's apple. He repositions to sit on Zack's face. More punches fall like hammers (Tyson's epithet is no fairy tale), while Zack makes gurgling groans that sound like he's puking into the seat of Tyson's red trunks.

It takes five minutes for Zack to catch his breath and turn the tables on Tyson. "Finally!" he exclaims, echoing my thoughts exactly. He delivers a punch to the jaw that nearly knocks Tyson out. But it doesn't, and Tyson gives him several more minutes of pure hell. The smaller of the two, Zack nimbly climbs up six-foot-two Tyson for an elevated camel-clutch thingy. By the match's midpoint, the fighters are give and take, with Tyson still giving a good bit more than he's having to take.

I won't spoil the ending. I'll just say the match ends with a piledriver and a sweaty crotch-to-face three count. 

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