Cheat Sheet

Kayden Keller and Ash DeLeon vs Kenny Starr and Rocky Sparks, Tag Team Torture 22 (BG East)

I don't make it a practice to check out other wrestling blogs before pulling together my own thoughts on a match, but before I watched this match, I turned to Wrestling Arsenal for his insights.  I did this not just because I'm a big fan of Wrestling Arsenal in general but mostly because he has a deeper appreciation of ring matches than I do, especially tag team events, which I tend to be meh about. This one is a good one - that much I could tell on my own - conforming to the usual trappings of tag team matches, particularly those at BG East, which often finish with all four wrestlers together in the ring and the heels showing off their quarries to each other.

It's not unusual for me to get lost when watching anything more complicated than a one-on-one fight. I'm happy to report I found this match easy to follow. BG East helps the situation by clearly distinguishing heels and jobbers from the start. That, in turn, by company logic, decides who will win and who will lose. It's a rare event to see a good guy prevail in any sort of contest at BGE, all the rarer if the good guy is attractive. Kenny and Rocky are amply attractive, and Kayden and Ash are amply flippant in outfacing these cuties. There is no doubt as to who will kick whose asses. Kenny and Rocky - even the names seem diminutive, like Mickey and Minnie - could not be more doomed if they were camp counselors smoking weed and having sex in a slasher movie.

Predictability saves viewers' attention for other matters, such as ogling wrestlers' physiques. In this case, the jobbers have an infinitesimal weight advantage that we can be certain will do them no good whatsoever, but it makes for curvier bodies and slightly louder thumps. Rocky has perfect chest hair, always a pleasant resting place for my eyes. The heels play rough. Wrestling Arsenal notes accurately: "Kayden Keller is a delight as the lead Heel - an absolute Ring General who directs the action and keeps the heat on the trapped hero. The Heels are actually quite brutal in their assault, their Gut Stomps and Elbow Smashes really connecting!" I sensed more tongue-in-cheek attitude in the heels, by which I mean their smug and ironizing smirks, but Wrestling Arsenal is not wrong in admiring the heels' use of piledrivers to make a point. Nothing says "You lost" louder than a piledriver.

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