"I Told You Not to Make Me Mad"

Simpson vs Iceman18, 4K11 (Thunders Arena)

Simpson and Iceman are in tiptop condition here. Simpson is the shorter of the two and thus, by some apparent rule of nature, more pugnacious. Iceman puts up a convincing and compelling resistance, but most of this 24-minute match belongs to hairy-chested Simpson, who piece by piece breaks the blond bodybuilder apart. The liveliness and duration of each hold would be sufficient without a storyline, but the narrative here is simple: Iceman pushes his opponent too far and must pay the price for it. The sells are perfectly pitched. The match has less of the Arena's typical bouncy horseplay. Simpson and Iceman are committed to this battle, not just posing and clowning around.

At the start we see Simpson and Iceman stretching, limbering up for the contest. The dialogue is matter of fact. Simpson talks about his match the previous day and his subsequent lack of sleep. He is in no mood to be provoked. Naturally this information piques Iceman's interest, and the needling begins. It's no surprise that Iceman likes an angry opponent, one of the reasons I admire the guy.

The match begins with Simpson throwing his opponent over his shoulder and bouncing the blond against his concrete lats. He transitions to an arm bar. Each hold and position is sustained long enough for viewers to take in the spectacle of these two muscular bodies locked together. Iceman escapes and proceeds to fold Simpson into a pin. "Don't be so fuckin' rough, man," Simpson warns, but, as previously noted, Iceman likes rough. Simpson escapes and applies a two-minute side headlock, smashing Iceman's supremely mashable face up against a hairy pec.

The pattern of give and take persists to the end. Iceman bullies, and Simpson takes him down a notch, and then Iceman springs back into action. The running repartee consists of taunts and threats, but the match is built on muscle, not words. A serious battle between antagonists as burly as these two is a joy to watch. The ending is quick but anguished. This is the kind of match I love - two muscular hunks barreling into each other.

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