Pretty in Pain 17: Brad Cashew

Brad Cashew vs Kevin Ku, Limitless Vacationland Cup 2021 (Limitless Wrestling)

Even I want to kick Brad Cashew's ass. When you see his opponent, Kevin Ku, hefty, exceedingly tattooed, entering the ring in a biker's leather vest, you know in your gut that Brad's going to have a tough time of it.  

Brad doesn't often show his emotions. As he lies breathless and dazed on the canvas, his face is a blank, possibly because his vision is blurred, his body fatigued. Brad's body is slim and unblemished, but it's 14 pounds heavier than his opponent's. The trauma it's subjected to is matched by its mussed-up prettiness. His physique and B-R-A-D emblazoned on the seat of his trunks are enough to make anyone want to beat Cashew the fuck up.

There are many ways to "ask for it" in professional wrestling. It's the long blond hair that makes Cashew an especially easy target for abuse. Brad joins the ranks of longhairs Rhett Titus, Kenny Omega, Matt Taven, and others who let their locks grow long, seemingly as an invitation for manhandling. The good citizens of Maine hate Brad because he boasts about graduating from Boston University with a 3.75 GPA. They prefer the dour, intense guy from Alabama with the leather vest and a skull on his biceps band, though I suspect they'd cheer for anybody who stomps on Cashew's handsome face.

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