Rookies

Cody Blayde vs Jordi Gabana, Ring Rookies 6 (BG East)

Cody Blayde has an impulse-control disorder. Jordi Gabana is a classic narcissist. Who can predict what will happen when these two face each other in the squared circle? Well done, BGE! Jordi and Cody both are attention whores who can make a wrestling ring rumble and shake. This combustible combination rules Ring Rookies 6.

For robust showmanship and ring psychology, Cody steals the show, trashing Jordi's "leopard-zebra tighty-whities" then decking the strutting egotist and locking him in a tight figure-four. He continues to mock Gabana's fashion-sense and pummels his upper back with his fist, and it's hard to say which attack hurts Jordi more. In under a minute, Cody winds his body into his opponent's to paralyzing effect, then brattily plucks Gabana's armpit hairs and wrings his nipple and ear.

Cody plays to the imaginary crowd, proclaiming, "I'm the most innovative wrestler there's ever been," as Jordi dangles off the corner ropes. Cody approaches his prey to render further abuses, but Jordi boots him in the ribs and clamps him in a side headlock. The resulting hair-tugging contest is right up my alley. Cody uses his height and weight advantage to hoist Jordi's whole body to shoulder level and slam it to the mat.

Dynamic back-and-forth action and hair-yanking continue. It turns out that both wrestlers know how to make an opponent suffer, and quick, flashy shots are punctuated with torturous and humiliating clenches. This is a bitch fight for boys, and Gabana and Blayde are seemingly inexhaustible. By the match's midpoint, both brawlers are sweating, but the grueling punishments and indignities get bigger and bigger. In a soggy conclusion, the winner chokes out the loser, whose thick bulge suggests that losers can be winners, too.

Visit BG East here.