"I Make the Damn Rules"

Derrick Cole vs Austin Tyler, Match 528 (UCW)

I cannot be the only fan who has been licking his chops to see Austin, 175#, take on Derrick,175#, the current UCW All-Star Champion. The collision of these two pro-style wrestlers is every bit as awesome as I had hoped. April 2017 has already been a banner month for the promotion; in the past four weeks UCW has released Austin vs Derrick, Chase vs Quinn, and Eli vs Coleman, each one a schlong-swelling classic. Amazing work, sirs!

As I have said elsewhere, I feel a special frisson when two guys I really really like square off against each other, mano a mano. In this instance, the result was sure to be a nut-bristling brawl, and these battlers do not let me down. Even better, Derrick and Austin are dramatically expressive performers. Their faces magnify the pain and triumph of their struggle, and their body language as well expresses and elicits strong emotions.

Both guys are serious about this fight. Austin wants the belt (the new and redesigned belt commemorating UCW's history and prehistory), and his strong thighs and lower center of gravity are advantages he has on the mats. Derrick, who contemptuously pretends not to know his challenger's name, moves with audacious speed and agility. His mocking and loudmouthing are meant to psych out his more reticent opponent, but if these tactics are intimidating, I can't tell it from Austin's valiant and determined face.

Sure, I would have liked more sweat, but let's appreciate what we have here. The clenches are prolonged and punishing. The wrestlers apply their skills in ring psychology to the mat room and camera. On the whole, the tactics are fair and square, given that at UCW hair-yanking, gut-punching, and eye-gouging have always been tolerated. The high stakes present both men in their best form yet. They throw every ounce of themselves into this fight, holding nothing back and fearlessly risking all. April's not over yet, but Match 528 caps off what is perhaps the strongest and hottest month in UCW history.


  1. Ah, but April is not yet over, Joe! There is another week to go! I am hoping that my beloved Eli will get his deserved rematch against one of these two foes. I am not sure that UCW has held that rematch yet, but I hope that does soon. You're right about this match. Both guys are in top form, and both the winner and loser suffer quite a bit. I have been liking UCW so much recently that I don't think I would be disappointed in whatever match they might throw our way next week. But here's to hoping it's my Eli vs... well, anyoone.


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