Vote

It's all rigged, of course, by elite Democrats, or Russian hackers, or the electoral college system, or the Koch brothers, or the internet troll we somehow elected as US President, but BG East wants your vote in its survey (here) of the best and hottest of 2016 in sixteen categories (some serious, some whimsical). I voted (and, full disclosure, participated in the nomination process), and Ringside at Skull Island endorses the following candidates, but, hey, it's a free country for two more weeks, vote how you please -- and report back. The polls are open till midnight (Boston/Fort Lauderdale time) Thursday, January 12th.

1. Top Babyface: Jake Jenkins (no doubt about it -- and not just this year and not just at BG East)

2. Best Abs: Van Skyler (I'm not big on six-packs, but all of Van looks good to me)

3. Best Body: Van Skyler (see above)

4. Best Bulge: Van Skyler (ditto)

5. Top Heel: Kid Karisma (Firestorm and Genatto are good picks, too)

6. Best Butt: Jake Jenkins

7. Jobber of the Year: Kirk Donahue

8. Debut of the Year: Calvin Haynes

9. Best Submission: Baynard vs Genatto vs Firestorm

10. Sexiest Match: ???* (personally I would write in Jenkins vs Vergara ** if I could)

11. Best Ring Match: King vs Farrell

12. Best Squash: ??? (my write-in would be Karisma vs Lodi -- though perhaps not technically a squash job)

13. Best Mat Battle: Jenkins vs Dynasty

14. Hottest Liplock: ???* (stumped on this one)

15. Best 2016 Wrestler Spotlight: Wrestler Spotlight: Biff Farrell (mostly on the basis of the match against Kelly King)

16. Best 2016 Overall Match: ???* (stumped again: I'd go with Jenkins vs Vergara ** or Karisma vs Alexander or Baynard vs Genatto vs Firestorm -- but here's where I would go all mushy and give gold stars to everybody who tried)

* Opting out is not an option, as it turns out. You have to vote in all sixteen categories. I went with the first names on the list, when in doubt, as I do when voting for district court judges (kidding, sort of).

** I've been informed that the Vergara match was actually in 2015, not 2016. My mistake.